Memoirs of a Stupid American Girl

INTRODUCTION


I know that I am only an ordinary girl, but I have something to say.
I promise not to lie, I promise to let everything out right now, and right here. I am a product of the people and experiences surrounding my life. I’m not an important person compared to some nor am I particularly interesting. I am really no one to the people who do not know me. I am average in too many ways. The people that have been in my life are greatly important. It is at this very moment that I understand the connection with friends and enemies alike that creates a past, present and future. It is the relationships that I have with these people that mold the existence of my being. This is my personal ode to them, the wicked, the angelic, the cowardly, the brave, and the rest that lies in between. These people are locked in my brain and play in my own personal play from time to time. I have apathy, and respect for all of them. Would it seem strange to loathe and love someone at the Same time? But that is the way it is, I can’t help it. I can’t explain it either. I believe that if it wasn’t for a certain time, a certain place or a certain person that I would be different. Now These people that have been in my life do not necessarily make me a better person or smarter, or any closer to perfection but I could not be the same without any of them and maybe that frightens me a bit. I can’t imagine being anyone else but me. Then I start to think that I want to be the person that I was ten years ago, this has nothing to do with vanity this has to do with a mindset. We all have this mindset in our youth. Children fear nothing; they stop to apologize for no one. As children we were allowed to be and to say what we feel, and nothing could ever hold us back. The world was limitless, expectations boundless and trust was never a concern.
Our parents even helped us to buy into this make-pretend scheme by saying that we could do or be whatever we wanted. In some cases that may very well be true, but not every one has that life. There will always be the ones that remain left behind to watch everyone else go by. We all know what we want, we may not know how to get what we want but in our youth there is still the hope that it can happen. As we become older we lose our imagination of what could come to be, and we watch all of what we had wanted for so long fall away from us and hope becomes lost.
You know this and I am sure of it, but if we take away all that was or will be corrupt in our lives we will never know true joy. We will never know when something or someone truly unique is standing before us because how would we know the difference? You must know sadness to appreciate bliss and pain to understand comfort.
I want to tell you a story about truths and deceptions and while I am doing that I hope to immortalize the ones that I have come to know, it is the least I can do for them after all that they have done for me. I am not sure how I am perceived in another persons mind nor do I know their version to this epic; I do know that everyone has their own memory of how something has happened. I will only tell you how I remember it.